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=   F.U.C.K. - Fucked Up College Kids - Born Jan. 24th, 1993 - F.U.C.K.   =
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                         Normality
                         ---------

One of the times that I was in the hospital my mother brought me some
stationary she had bought for me.  It was blue, and 5 x 8 in. Across the top
of it, it said: "I know this may sound weird but all I want is a normal life."
For several years after that, I had that saying pinned up on the wall above my
bed.  And for even more years, I had really thought that is what I had wanted.

A normal life, with normal problems.  Where my biggest problem is what color
of lipstick am I going to wear with the nail polish I am wearing?  And, the
hardest night is when I have to call up a guy and ask him on a date.  Normal
guys, that don't treat me like shit, and for me not to have a complex when it
comes to eating and what I look like.  You know what?  That may be what seems
to be the biggest problems 'normal' people have, but they go deeper then that.

Normality is something that is the average of how people in a selected
society act, have, etc.  In this day and age, with all the problems that have
filled the cities and countryside alike, I must admit I am thankful I do not
have a normal life!

I like not having to always act my own age, and wear a business suit.  I like
being able to hang out with people younger and older then me, and be perfectly
comfortable.  I like not having a normal life.

My life is never the same day twice, and there's always things that either I
do to ensure that or things that just happen to ensure that.  And, that is
what has become 'normal' for me.  It is normal for me to not know when I am
going to be going out of town, and not knowing when I am going to be back, I
like that.  It is normal for me to have parties and have people show up that
I had only 'heard' or 'seen' around, and have a blast - I like that.  It is
normal for me to face confrontations head-on and not budge when it comes to
something I don't like or agree with - I like that.

"I just want a normal life."

"Normal lives are overrated."

I'm not saying that you shouldn't go after your dreams.  If you want to pull
away from whatever you're involved in now, and pursue an art career, and not
deal with guys that are involved in whatever most guys are involved in -
then go for it!  If you want to become a singer in a band or an opera, then
go for it!  If you want to make some sort of change in your life, which you
think is really going to make you happier then YOU SHOULD!  But, you do not
need to refer to it as something normal if it's not.  Refer to whatever it is,
as it is ... a dream, hope, what you want, a change, or maybe it is a normal
life.

Normality is something that we have control over, in some regard.  Because, it
is based on what is the most common ... and if you ask me, that has changed
dramatically!

Just don't spend years of your life, wishing for something that you would end
up hating.  Go for it and find out.


-Kamira
December 30th, 1997
kami@sekurity.org
www.sekurity.org/~kamira

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